⛓️‍💥 Breaking Generational Curses: My Journey of Recognizing Patterns and Choosing Change⛓️‍💥

Growing up, I lived through the painful realities of generational patterns in my family. My father, the youngest of fourteen children, grew up surrounded by violence and addiction, leading him down a similar path of alcohol and drug abuse. My mother, who lost her father at the age of fourteen and had to care for her younger siblings, turned to alcohol as well. Both sides of my family viewed financial help as loans rather than gifts, creating a cycle of debt and obligation that I became determined to break.

At six years old, I was already working in our family business. I saw things no child should see—my father’s violent outbursts when he didn’t have alcohol or drugs, and my mother’s attempts to keep peace by enabling him. She even sent me to buy his drugs, terrified of what he might do if he came home empty-handed.

One pattern that stood out was how everything in my family was transactional. My parents never received genuine help from their own parents, and they passed that mindset on to me. When I got married, I still owed my mother money for a car she “bought” me as a teenager. It wasn’t a gift—it was a debt I had to repay.

Things only got worse when my parents sold the family business, taking all the profits and leaving me with nothing. It felt like abandonment, a pattern they had also experienced in their own lives.

But I believe we have the power to break these generational curses. For me, it’s not just about finances or addiction—it’s about breaking the cycle of domestic violence and striving to be the best husband and father I can be.

I know the example I set for my children will shape how they view relationships when they grow up. If I want my sons to become loving husbands and fathers, they have to see that example in me. That’s why I strive every day to make my wife feel special, loved, and valued. I want her to know she is my priority, and I want my kids to grow up in a home where love and affection are normal, not rare or conditional.

Another cycle I am breaking is the idea that everything has to be a financial transaction. In many families, especially in the Hispanic community, parents grow old thinking their children owe them everything—repayment for raising them or providing for them. But I don’t believe that’s how it should be. I want my children to know that whatever I do for them comes from the heart, without any expectation of being repaid.

If I have the ability to give them something, I want it to be freely given, as a gesture of love and support—not as a transaction or with strings attached. Being a parent means giving unconditionally, not keeping a tally. I want my kids to feel supported, loved, and empowered to succeed without the weight of guilt or obligation hanging over them.

This journey has been hard, but it’s taught me that recognizing the patterns in our lives is the first step toward breaking them. We don’t have to repeat the cycles of pain, obligation, or conditional love. We can choose to act differently, to create a better future for ourselves and the generations to come.

If you’re reading this and feel stuck in a similar situation, know that you have the power to rewrite your story. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

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